Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Nerdy Wedding Ceremony

As you can tell from my previous posts, I had a pretty nerdy wedding. We didn't hire a videographer knowing how awkward we are, but now everyone wants a video of our ceremony. Since, we wrote the whole thing out, a blog post is the best that I can do.

We had two ushers whose purpose was to tell our guests to, "pick a seat, not a side as two families become one." To help them out we used three recycled window panes (for my tree hugger theme) as our program and seating signs. This is the only one I have a picture of:

Instrumental classical music was played as guests were being seated. Feel free to visit my other blog post about my wedding music.

Pre-Ceremony Introduction
We had our officiant (our friend who got ordained online), the groom, and best man enter separately and stand up front.

[Officiant] Before we get started, Let me introduce myself and explain a little about the ceremony.
My name is Officiant ------. and I have the privilege of performing this marriage ceremony today.
You are not here to simply hear words uttered in ceremony, or just to witness the first kiss between husband and wife. Your participation in this ceremony is as important as your participation in their lives. As Barney from HIMYM says, “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.” And with that said, let us begin…. (music starts)

The Processional
Music (All I ask of you-POTO ~4min) 

Processional Order: 
The groomsmen and bridesmaids walk down in pairs, starting with the two who will stand farthest from the bride and groom, and ending with the matron of honor.
Music (A Thousand Years- The Piano Guys ~4min)
The bride escorted by her father. The bride walks on the left side. If the bride's escort is her father, he leads her to the front of the aisle, then takes his seat.
When they reach the end of the aisle, the father hugs her, shakes mikes hand. No words are said.

[Officiant] Everyone, please be seated. “There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her” (Ted, HIMYM). Well, Bride, Groom, You’re gettin’ married!
Before we start, take a breath and take a look around you.
Your family, your friends, have come from all over to share in this with you.
We have friends from childhood, high school, and college. We have brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and dearest of all, your parents.
Thank you all for coming.

The Readings
[Officiant] To start us off, _____ and _____ will do a reading from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes.

Reading #1:
Calvin: What’s it like to fall in love?
Hobbes: Well… say the object of your affection walks by…
Calvin: Yeah?
Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves.
Calvin: THAT’S LOVE?!?
Hobbes: Medically speaking.
Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!

[Officiant] Now, a scene by ____ from Love Actually by (You can decide to play Silent Night/keep the Christmas themed cards or it still works without them. We are movie purist so we kept them).

Reading #2:

[Officiant] For our final reading, _____ and _____ will do a reading from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Reading #3
Arthur: Just wait a sodding minute! You want a question that goes with the answer for 42? Well, how about "What's six times seven?" Or "How many Vogons does it take to change a lightbulb?" Here's one! "How many roads must a man walk down?"
Lunkwill: Hey, that's not bad!
Arthur: Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions. And I can assure you, no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to - "Is she the one?" And the answer bloody well isn't "42", it's "yes"! Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes! And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy.
Trillian: That's a good answer...

[Officiant] This is the part, in a traditional ceremony, where the holy man offers advice and words of wisdom. Well, I’m no holy man. And I don’t consider myself particularly wise. But, I am your friend. And as your friend, there are a few things I’d like to say to you both. First, I know there will be challenges. But, I said before, I am no wisened, holy man. And for these future challenges, I can offer you no solutions, no particular advice. But what I can offer you is something perhaps more valuable: a promise. I am here for you. Look around you. Many have come from far and wide, not just for a great party, which we’ll have, but to pledge their support for you, to say not only “yes, I am here for your wedding”, but also “yes, I am here for your marriage”. I am your parent, your brother, our sister, your dear friend. I’m here for the both of you. If you need my advice, a different perspective, or just someone to listen. We are all here for you. And, let me speak for everyone here today, when I say, I love you both. [pause] And now that we have pledged our support to you, it is time for you to declare your love and promise to each other.

The Vows
[Officiant] Do you, Groom, take Bride to be your wife and your partner in crime? Do you promise to love and trust her, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
[Groom] “I do”

[Officiant] Do you, Bride, take Groom to be your husband and your partner in crime? Do you promise to love and trust him, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
[Bride] “I do”

The Rings
[Officiant] May I have the rings please (Best man is holding onto the 2 wedding bands and the engagement ring)? Let these rings be a sign that love has a past, a present, and a future

[Officiant] Bride, please take the ring, place it on Grooms’s finger and repeat after me:
“Groom, I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore...”

[Officiant] Groom, please take the ring, place it on Bride’s finger and repeat after me:
“Bride, I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my wife this day and forevermore...”
(Officiant holds up engagement ring)

[Officiant] The engagement ring is a symbol of a promise and intention. Now today, the intention is realized and the promise is fulfilled. So Groom, would you please place the engagement ring on Bride’s finger over her wedding band, symbolizing that the love that brought you together will protect and sustain you.

[Officiant] By the power vested in me by the Internet, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. I present to you Mr. and Mrs. _______. 

The Recessional
The guests stand and applaud, as the couple then lead the recessional out. 
Bride and Groom
Best man and Maid/Matron of Honor
The rest of the party in pairs
The officiant

Music (Something upbeat like I Believe in a Thing Called Love-The Darkness)

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